To Onegin From Yours Truly, Tati. Take 2.

My Beloved Onegin,

My heart burns with the intensity of 1,000 suns for you.
I lie awake in sweat thinking about you
I pine for you like i have never pined before for anyone else.
At our last encounter when you confessed your love for me,
I felt as if the whole world had stopped and you and I were the only ones who remained in motion.
when you are around me, the pieces of my broken heart find their way back to one another.
I believe that you are my soulmate, and we were meant for each other.
the lonliness i now feel is as if i am the only lonley lady in the whole world.
I feel as if nothing in my life has any meaning,
because you are the only one who gives meaning to anything.

But, unfortunately, you were too late.
I have already married a man who will take good care of me.
I tried long ago to tell you that you were the one for me,
and the only one whom i wished to give myself completely to.
You, however, spit on my dreams and ripped my heart in two.
It is a true tragedy that you have taken so long to realize the feelings you have for me
Yes, i am still in love with you, and yes you are the only man in which my heart yearns for,
but i am a respectful woman who feels shame and disgrace.
i can never leave the man i have sworn myself to
and therefore we can never meet again.

like you once said, you're heart will heal.
You will find another in which you crave for.
That woman will not be me, i am not she.
forget about me, forget that you ever knew me.
Your suffering will pass and the aching in your heart will ease.
If only things had been different, if only i could turn back the clock
and relive the time when i was still in my youth, throwing myself at you.
I would have never told you how i felt
I would have just let love grow from both of the soils of our hearts.
Things are not how we wish, as things usually are not.
Please, just know that solace will come, and a new love will find you.

be at ease, my love.
be happy, and free...of me.

Never-More Yours,
Tatiana.